If You Are Unsure It's Narcissistic Abuse Read This!

Narcissistic abuse can be confusing and painful. Sometimes, you might feel something is wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You may wonder if what you’re experiencing is really abuse or just difficult behaviour. I want to help you understand the signs and give you clear guidance on what to do next.

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse where someone with narcissistic traits manipulates, controls, and harms another person. It often happens slowly, making it hard to recognise. If you feel drained, confused, or doubting yourself, this post is for you.

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What Narcissistic Abuse Looks Like

Narcissistic abuse is not always obvious. It can take many forms, but some common signs include:

• Constant criticism or belittling: The abuser puts you down to make themselves feel superior.

• Gaslighting: They make you question your memory or feelings, saying things like “You’re too sensitive” or “That never happened.”

• Lack of empathy: They ignore your feelings and needs, focusing only on themselves.

• Control and manipulation: They try to control your actions, who you see, and what you do.

• Blame-shifting: They never take responsibility and always blame you for problems.

• Love bombing and devaluation: They alternate between showering you with affection and then suddenly withdrawing it or being cruel.

  
  

If you recognise some of these behaviours in your relationship, it’s a strong sign you might be facing narcissistic abuse. It’s important to trust your feelings. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

How Narcissistic Abuse Affects You

Living with narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling:

• Confused and doubting yourself

• Anxious or depressed

• Isolated from friends and family

• Low in self-esteem and confidence

• Emotionally exhausted and drained

  
  

These effects can build up over time. You might find it hard to make decisions or trust your own judgement. You may even feel like you’re “going crazy.” This is a common experience called trauma bonding, where the abuse creates a confusing attachment.

What to Do If You Suspect Narcissistic Abuse

The first step is to acknowledge your experience. You are not imagining things, and you are not alone. Here are some practical steps you can take:

• Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic abuse to understand what’s happening. Start here.

• Reach out for support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a professional.

• Set boundaries: Start protecting your emotional space by saying no and limiting contact.

• Keep a journal: Write down incidents and your feelings to help clarify your experience.

• Consider therapy: A therapist can help you heal and rebuild your confidence.

• Find a community: A community of survivors can help the healing process by surrounding yourself with others that get it. Click here to join the Queen's Rise Circle, created by a survivor for survivors.

  
  

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How to Protect Yourself Moving Forward

Once you recognise narcissistic abuse, protecting yourself is key. Here are some ways to do that:

• Limit contact: If possible, reduce or cut off contact with the abuser.

• Build a support network: Surround yourself with people who respect and care for you.

• Practice self-care: Prioritise your physical and emotional health.

• Learn to say no: It’s okay to refuse demands or requests that harm you.

• Stay informed: Keep learning about abuse and recovery to stay strong.

  
  

Remember, healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories. You deserve to feel safe and valued.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or unsafe, professional help is important. Therapists trained in trauma and abuse can guide you through recovery. You don’t have to face this alone. Check out our resources page by clicking here.

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Narcissistic abuse can feel isolating, but help is available. Trust your feelings and take steps to protect yourself. Whether you choose therapy, an online course, or support groups, the important thing is to start your journey to healing today.

You are not alone, and you deserve kindness and respect. Reach out, learn, and take back your power. Your well-being matters.

Lastly download my checklist below:

SOAQ Narcissistic Relationship Red Flags Checklist.pdf

Download PDF • 2.15MB