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What is Narcissism in Relationships? Signs, Examples & How to Heal

Learn what narcissism in relationships really means, the signs to watch for, real-life examples, and how to begin healing from abuse.

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What is Narcissism in Relationships?

Narcissism in relationships is more than selfish behaviour, it’s a repeated pattern of control, manipulation, and emotional abuse that leaves partners doubting themselves. Many survivors don’t realise they are experiencing narcissistic abuse until the signs become overwhelming: gaslighting, constant criticism, love-bombing followed by withdrawal, and a lack of empathy. These behaviours can create deep confusion and isolation, making you question your own reality. If you’ve felt like you’re walking on eggshells or losing your sense of self, you may be dealing with narcissism in a relationship. Understanding the signs is the first step toward breaking free and beginning the healing process.

Key Traits to Look Out For:

1. Love-bombing then withdrawal
At the start, a narcissistic partner may overwhelm you with affection, gifts, and promises. Once you’re invested, the attention fades and turns into criticism or silence.
(Example: “At first he called me his soulmate every day. A few months later, he barely spoke to me and acted like I was a burden.”)

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2. Gaslighting
They deny things they said or did, making you question your memory and reality.
(Example: “When I brought up hurtful comments, she insisted it never happened, even though I remembered every word.”)

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3. Silent treatment and emotional withdrawal
Instead of resolving conflict, they punish you by ignoring calls or refusing to speak for days.
(Example: “After one small disagreement, he shut me out completely and made me feel invisible.”)

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4. Lack of empathy
Your feelings are dismissed or minimised. Their focus is always on their needs, not yours.
(Example: “When I cried about losing a family member, she told me to stop being dramatic and focus on her problems instead.”)

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5. Constant criticism and control
Over time, compliments are replaced with put-downs, and freedom is restricted,  from who you see to how you spend money.
(Example: “He picked apart how I dressed and told me my friends were a bad influence until I stopped going out.”)

Real-World Examples of Narcissism in Relationships.

Narcissism in relationships doesn’t always look obvious. It often shows up in subtle, repeated behaviours that chip away at your confidence and sense of safety.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse often describe experiences like:

  • The sudden switch in character: “In the beginning he told me I was perfect, but later he criticised everything I did. I never knew which version of him I’d get.”

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  • Gaslighting moments: “When I found messages on his phone and asked about them, he said I was paranoid and imagining things. I started doubting myself.”

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  • Walking on eggshells: “I avoided certain topics or words because I knew it would set him off. It felt safer to stay quiet.”

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  • Withholding affection: “If I didn’t agree with him, he’d ignore me for days. The silent treatment made me feel invisible and desperate for his attention.”

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  • Isolation: “He said my friends were toxic and convinced me to cut them off. Before I knew it, he was the only person I had left.”

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These are common signs of narcissistic abuse in relationships. If any of them feel familiar, know that it’s not your fault, these patterns are deliberate forms of control, not reflections of your worth.

How Narcissistic Abuse Impacts Survivors

Living through narcissistic abuse in a relationship can leave lasting scars, both emotionally and physically. Survivors often describe feeling like they have lost themselves. The constant gaslighting, criticism, and control create deep confusion and self-doubt.

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Common impacts include:

  • Low self-esteem: Years of put-downs can make you feel unworthy or incapable.

  • Anxiety and hypervigilance: Always waiting for the next argument or silent treatment.

  • Depression and isolation: Withdrawing from friends and family because you feel nobody will understand.

  • Difficulty trusting: Struggling to feel safe in future relationships, even with supportive partners.

  • Physical symptoms: Stress headaches, fatigue, or sleep problems from the ongoing tension.

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These effects are real, but they are not permanent. Healing from narcissistic abuse is possible with support, education, and self-care. Many survivors begin to rebuild confidence and rediscover their voice once they recognise the abuse for what it is.

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Healing from narcissistic abuse in relationships takes time, but recovery is possible. The first step is recognising that what you went through was real and not your fault. Survivors often carry guilt, shame, or self-blame, but these feelings come from the cycle of manipulation, not from who you are.

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Ways survivors begin to heal include:

  • Education: Learning about narcissism helps you make sense of the patterns and break the confusion.

  • Support: Connecting with others who understand your experience reduces isolation and reminds you that you are not alone.

  • Boundaries: Setting limits, even small ones, is a powerful step toward regaining control and self-respect.

  • Self-care and empowerment: Building daily practices that restore your energy, confidence, and identity.

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At Strength Of A Queen, we provide survivor-focused resources to guide this journey, from books and workbooks to workshops and community support. Healing is not about forgetting what happened, but about reclaiming your voice, your confidence, and your future.

You Don’t Have to Heal Alone

If these signs of narcissism in relationships feel familiar, know that you are not alone and that healing is possible. Every survivor deserves support, understanding, and tools to rebuild life after abuse.

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At Strength Of A Queen, you’ll find:

  • Books & Journals: Practical guides and daily tools for recovery.

  • Workshops & Coaching Circles: A safe space to learn, share, and grow with others who understand.

  • Community Support: Connection with survivors who remind you of your strength.

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Click the link below to get started at SOAQ:

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We also encourage you to explore trusted external resources:

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Global / International

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